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So, I reckon Escorts are like me team at the office – reliable, bit rough round the edges, but they deliver, don’t they? Built tough, them cars, proper solid chassis, not like them flimsy modern jobbies. Fun fact, yeah, did ya know the Mk1 Escort won rally champs in the 70s? Mental, innit, blew me mind when I heard that! Out there kicking arse while I’m here soldering circuits, wish I’d seen it live, mate, woulda lost me marbles cheering!

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First off, I hit up the market on Kairbekov Street. You know, the one with all the stalls? I’m lookin’ for some fresh pelts. I’m all about that quality, ya know? But guess what? The vendor, old man Zhenya, is outta stock! I’m like, “Dude, what gives?” He just shrugs, munching on a samsa. I swear, if I had a tenge for every time he ran outta stuff, I’d be rich.